Mendolonium

So two and a half…NOT my favorite age.

Everything is a question, a battle, a test; an assertion of independence.  I decided today to count the number of times I heard “Why” or “Whyyyyyyy” for my own amusement but I lost count around 47 – and that was all before 1:00 pm.  For the past two weeks, getting Thomas to take a nap has become a one sided negotiation:  “Can I have a story?”, “But I’m still hungry”.  “I’m not tired.”  My response is always the same:  “No, it is nap time.”  (For the record, stories were offered and refused earlier, he picked at his lunch for the hour prior to nap, and at times he is so tired he starts to walk into walls).  Everything must be done “by himself”:  picking berries, spreading a blanket out on the floor, eating his dinner.   All completely normal and healthy from a developmental standpoint.  And completely maddening and exhausting from a parental viewpoint.  Both Jeff and I feel the frustration.  Jeff will cheerily offer to “take Henry for me” when Henry is fussing in the evening- a time of day we both used to dread when Thomas was an infant while I feed Thomas dinner and get him ready for bed.  It’s fairly obvious that Jeff thinks he gets the better end of the deal:  an infant’s needs are relatively simple and can be attended to while he watches a baseball game.  But even more than frustration, I feel guilt.  Guilt, because Thomas is exactly like me.

Thomas takes over an hour to eat dinner, over 30 minutes in the bath, multiple stories, and nursing in order to wind down for sleep necessitating a 6:00 pm start for a 9:00 bedtime.  Well, what right do I have to feel annoyed with him when I linger over my meals, take 45 minute showers, read myself to sleep (whenever Jeff isn’t around), and nearly always have one last snack before bed.  I sleep so poorly by myself that I often don’t sleep at all.  I remember one trip back to D.C. for work when I had to get up early (before 5:00 am) for a meeting and rather than toss and turn for hours I opted to simply stay up reading.  I once took a week long business trip to Asia and checked in my bag the entire Harry Potter Series along with snacks to keep me company at night.  Thomas bursts into tears when I attempt to speed up the very last moment of bedtime by boosting him into his bed sobbing “I do it myself.”  How can I sigh with frustration when Jeff offers to help me put Henry in the sling I snap at him that “I need to do it myself.”

I’m thankful for the similarities between us:  we have a close bond and I generally feel that we understand each other.  I am just not sure how best to handle someone as alike and as stubborn as myself.  For now, we’re going with the old parenting stand-bys of clear rules/expectations/consequences, consistency, and lots of activity and affection.  And for my own sanity I take the easy way out; Jeff is home for nap time five days a week and that’s when I “take the baby” and let him deal with the two and half year old version of myself.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 1st, 2009 at 3:18 pm and is filed under Thomas. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.