When you tell people that you are expecting your third child after two boys the first thing you often hear after “Congratulations” is “Are you hoping for a girl?” I hated this question because, quite frankly, I didn’t have a simple “yes” or “no” answer. The truth was that I was just plain excited to be having another baby and that what I wished most was that she or he be healthy and happy. But the truth was also that I loved the idea of having a daughter: the challenge of raising a strong, confident young woman, the fun of shopping for girl’s clothes, the idea someday sharing “girl talk”. And then I thought of three little boys – and although many people expressed horror at the idea of three energetic little boys under one roof, I rather liked the idea. I have had a wonderful time as the mother to two boys and I think that the stereotypical play of little boys – running around outside, playing in the dirt suits me quite well (although I could live without their delight in picking up every single bug they find). I could envision both futures: two brothers and a sister or three brothers and I looked forward to the idea of both; while knowing that only one was possible.
Two weeks ago we had a detailed ultrasound and had the opportunity to find out our future. And, for a moment, I didn’t want to find out if I held a little boy or a little girl; I felt a bittersweet wave of longing for both futures. That thought was a wonderful gift; I knew that whatever gender our baby might be, I would be happy. I didn’t want the moment of finding out to take place in a cold doctor’s office while I lay on a table so we had the ultrasound technician write down the baby’s gender on a card to open later and when we opened it we read:
And I felt a surge of happiness and excitement take hold of me that hasn’t left yet. I feel so incredibly lucky to have my beautiful family of Jeff, Thomas, Theo, and now a baby girl.