We’ve relaxed considerably about food allergies in our home over the past two years.  Thomas is now old enough to understand his allergies and is quite reasonable about the restrictions that they impose.  Even better, Thomas is no longer allergic to eggs, garlic, and pepper – three ubiquitous foods that we all sorely missed having in the house.  But the fact the remains that Thomas is still allergic to soy, peanuts, and sesame.  And because having children with the same food allergies would make life just too easy, Theo is allergic to onions and cashews.

Thomas’ allergy to sesame is anaphylactic and thus, requires an epi-pen.  During the enrollment process I casually asked, “I am sure you see this all the time, but how do you deal with food allergies?”  Given that the prevalence of childhood food allergies in our society is rampant, the answer I got was shocking to me in its ignorance.  The office staff cheerily explained to me that we could meet with the school nurse to go over the specific food allergies and an action plan and that school staff were trained in using an epi-pen.  Sensible and reassuring.  The office staff then went on to tell me that at the beginning of the year each classroom teacher would send a letter home to each student listing the food allergies in the classroom to inform the other parents of what foods were not safe for classroom treats or lunches.  I started to get nervous.  I immediately wondered, how could other parents – most with no experience of food allergies, half of whom do not reside in homes where English is the primary language, be expected to read labels the way that we do?  How many parents know that hummus, a favorite lunch item, is chock full of sesame seeds?  How many parents know that soy resides in nearly every processed food item in this country?  Even our own parents and close friends, who are well aware of the risks, have made mistakes from time to time.  It unfair and unrealistic to expect other parents to carry our burden.   And with multiple food allergic children in the same class does the collective diet of the class become so restrictive that parents are left sending their children to school with lunches of rice and potatoes?  The very notion was ridiculous and dangerous.  I told the office staff as much and they then offered that if I was really concerned, there was a special table in the cafeteria for food allergic kids.  It was then that I began to get upset.   A “special” table simply because my son, though no fault of his own, cannot eat some common foods.  He doesn’t need to sit at a special table full of kids with food allergies.  Every day, at his current school, he eats next to children who bring items in their lunches that he is allergic to and in over two years at school he has never had an incident.  Why?  Because his school has a strict no-sharing policy.  Students eat only what their parents provide them.  Period.  Snacks and treats are baked on site at the school and the school is responsible for every ingredient in the provided food.

The solution for elementary schools is similarly simple.  If outside snacks or treats are allowed parents should be able to state that they do not want their child receiving food that they [the parents] did not provide and should be allowed to provide an alternative.  Most importantly, while I am sure it would be met with protests of “not enough money in the budget to pay for adequate lunchtime supervision” the school should implement a strict no-sharing policy for all students.  Food allergies or not, I actually think that most parents want to know what their kids are eating at school and would be happy to know that their children are eating what they [the parents] provided or paid for (in the case of hot lunch).  While implementation may indeed require extra supervision at first, such a policy would quickly become routine if implemented from kindergarten on and if penalties for infraction (maybe the offending students could go sit by themselves at a “special” table) were adequately persuasive.

Clearly it is my job as a parent of a food allergic child to prepare him for the real world.  Thomas already knows not to eat food at a party or play date without checking the ingredients first.  He is as scared of his reaction to the forbidden foods as I am.  It does not do him any good to pretend to eliminate the his forbidden foods in the world around him – he needs to learn how to manage his allergies.  But his school must help him in his quest.  I worry that Thomas, taught not to share food by me, will be tempted by another student’s offer to share a cookie at lunchtime, or will one day encounter a birthday treat brought in by a parent at school, or will be offered a cracker used by a teacher as a reward.  He might protest the food, but the adult will reassure him, “We know about your allergies – this is safe.”  But that adult will be mistaken.  They won’t have thought to check for soy in a cookie.  They won’t have thought to look for sesame seeds as an ingredient on that box of crackers.  And Thomas, not even five years old when he eterns kindergarten, will experience an understandable lack in judgement and eat the proffered food.  Such mistakes are, of course, what the epi-pen is for, but every effort must be made by the school to ensure that that scenario never happens.

Life-threatening food allergies are a particularly frustrating problem for parents to deal with.  Food allergies are misunderstood, downplayed, written off as hysterical parenting.  But I have seen my childrens’ skin explode, in a matter of seconds, into red angry hives.  I have seen my son struggle for air mere minutes after a skin exposure to one of his allergens.  I have held my child in my arms as he projectile vomited over and over again utnil his stomach was empty of the offending food.  Food allergies are a serious medical problem and deserve the same intelligent response as any other medical condition a child might have.   I think my sons are the most special boys in the world, but they should never have to be excluded from other kids, forced to sit at a “special” table, just to keep them safe.

 My “little guy” weighed in at 9 pounds (!) this past Thursday (four weeks and one day old).  Clearly, my worries about an early birth resulting in nursing difficulties were totally unfounded. 

Thoughts on Being the Mother of Two

Short version:  It’s great!  I love Henry!  I love Thomas!  Children are awesome - I want lots of them!

Long version:  Both Henry and Thomas are utter perfection to me.  I love them both deeply and fiercely.  Love may be infinite, however, time is not.  Shockingly, meeting every one’s needs to my unreasonable perfectionist standards is proving to be impossible.  What I want is to spend hours every day going on adventures and baking with Thomas, while also finding the time to take hours for nursing, rocking, singing to, and gazing at Henry.  Oh and while I am at it I want the time to dig in the dirt for an hour or so, a sparkling clean house, to develop a new recipe at least once a week, and a pampering getaway for a hair color and a massage.  What I get is a preschooler exclaiming ”I want to hang on mama” while I nurse the baby, frozen macaroni and cheese from a box for lunch, and dyeing my hair myself in the bathroom at 11:30 pm. 

Viruses

I am pretty sure hell isn’t filled with fire and brimstone, but with snot.  We are all sick – again.  Last time it was bronchitis.  This time it seems to be a mild cold.  With a bit of luck, there won’t be a next time for quite awhile.  Given that Jeff and I are both home now, Thomas will be taking a leave of absence from preschool  – aka “the den of disease”.

The Incredible Edible Egg

After a year and a half of fantasizing about a fried egg sandwich, taking an hour or two to get through the grocery store as I scrutinized every label with the precision of one reading about how to diffuse a bomb, making some truly craptastic cookies, and thinking of chickens as “the enemy” it appears that Thomas is no longer allergic to eggs.  It’s a long story that I honestly have no desire to write down but the end result seems to be that he can safely eat the previously forbidden eggs, garlic, and pepper (sesame is still off limits).  Thomas had no reaction to ”food challenges” of baked egg, egg in pancakes, scrambled eggs, and finally raw egg (in the form of banana bread batter).  Not only does this mean realbreakfasts, royal icing, cheesecakes, pâte à choux, and cookies that actually stay together, but it means that Mendolo farms is going to get itself some livestock.  Oh yeah. 

Independence Days

Yes – I am actually still doing the Independence Days challenge.  My mom and dad were visiting this past week and I actually got quite a bit done with the help of their excellent preschooler entertaining and and baby holding skills:

1. Plant Something or Take Care of Something You’ve Planted:

• Watermelon (4 “Sugar Baby”)
• Cucumbers (1 “Diva, 2 Marketmore 76)
• Cauliflower (4 “Snowball Y”)
• Green Beans (12 “Nickel Haricots Verts”)
• Zucchini (1 “Round French”)
• Carrots (“Danvers”)
• Moved all strawberries to the front yard.

2. Harvest Something:

• Peas.
• Lettuce.

3. Preserve something:

• Not this week.

4. Prep something:

• Organized the boy’s clothing. 

5. Cook something new:

• Lot’s of cooking, but nothing new. 

6. Manage your reserves:

• Working on eating up items (i.e., cherries) that we preserved last year prior to them coming into season this year. 

Garam Masala

Ancho Chili Powder

Curry Powder

For ingredients I recommend growing your own or going online to buy in bulk from Mountain Rose Herbs or Penzeys. I also recommend buying whole spices (rather than ground) whenever possible as they will taste much fresher and keep much longer.

Regardless of whether or not you live in earthquake country it is a good idea for everyone to have a go bag at home and, if you work farther away than a home office, a go bag to keep at work. A well stocked go bag is particularly important if you or a member of your household has any medical conditions or food allergies that might not be able to be accommodated at a shelter. Ideally you would “shelter in place” during a disaster and our home is well stocked to do so. However, sometimes as in the case of a small scale disaster such as a gas leak or a large scale disaster such as hurricane Katrina it is just not possible to remain at home. That is where the go bag comes in. So what’s in our go bags?

In my home go bag I have enough supplies (excluding water and food) to keep me reasonably comfortable for three days. My home go bag contains:

• A 30 day supply of my non-refrigerated prescription medication
• A moderately sized first aid kit with an additional bottle of Tylenol arthritis strength
• A complete change of clothing including two pairs of underwear, two pairs of socks, pants (that zip into shorts), a tank top, a long sleeved t-shirt, and a sweater
• Comfortable walking shoes (my old athletic shoes)
• A cosmetics bag including: shampoo (can also be used as soap), contact solution, a contact case, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a hairbrush, hairbands, lip balm, a fingernail clipper, feminine hygiene supplies, sunscreen, and a small sewing kit
• A package of tissue
• A extra pair of glasses
• A flashlight + extra batteries
• Matches
• A map of Los Angeles County
• A chamois towel
• A charger for my cell phone
• A laminated emergency card listing the phone numbers, addresses, and emails of everyone in our immediate family
• An empty water bottle
• $20 broken down into a roll of quarters, a five dollar bill, and five one dollar bills
• A dust mask
• A hand crank emergency radio
• A pocket knife

We also have a go bag for Thomas which has a somewhat different makeup and includes:

• Thomas’ medications (includes infant Tylenol)
• A box of hemp milk
• A bottle
• A sippy cup
• A small spoon
• Favorite snacks (freeze dried fruit, snappea crisps)
• A onesie
• Long sleeved/long pants pajamas
• Socks and shoes
• A sun hat
• Sunscreen
• A blanket
• A sling
• 18 Diapers
• One package of baby wipes
• Small amusements (a notepad + crayons, stickers, two board books)

We have had go bags at home for a couple of years now, however, with the recent earthquake striking during the daytime I realized that in a significant disaster we might need to make our way home from our respective workplaces without a car or public transportation. I work only 2 miles from home, however, Jeff works 17 miles away. Certainly walkable but it would be a much more pleasant and safe walk with a few supplies. Therefore Jeff and I now each have go bags that we keep at work. Jeff’s work go bag includes:

• A small sized first aid kit
• Comfortable walking shoes
• Sunscreen
• A hat
• A flashlight + extra batteries
• Matches
• A map of Los Angeles County
• A laminated emergency card listing the phone numbers, addresses, and emails of everyone in our immediate family
• An empty water bottle
• 2 liters of water
• Powdered Gatorade “singles”
• Granola bars
• $20 broken down into a roll of quarters, a five dollar bill, and five one dollar bills
• A dust mask
• An old pair of work gloves

In addition to our go bags we also have a go box (actually a cat carrier) filled with emergency supplies for our pets which includes leashes for all,disposable litter boxes, three days worth of food for each animal, disposable food/water bowls, and a blanket for each animal.

I hope we never have to use the bags, but knowing we have them ready to go brings me a small bit of peace every time the earth starts to shake.