Mendolonium

It’s been far too long since I’ve written about gardening with children.  I blame the children for that.  You know, you can pretty much get away with doing nothing but gestating and feeding when you are pregnant or have a new baby.  But now that the pregnancy hormones seem to have receded from my system, I am feeling a renewed urge to plant and harvest and cook; generally get back to my normal life mode of thinking about food 24/7.

For the first time in years I don’t actually have a toddler.  Thomas is practically a small adult at this point and no one could say that Theodore even remotely “toddles” anymore.  I happen to think that toddlers are pretty awesome little people.  I would say that I find the ages of about 10 months to two and half years some of the most enjoyable moments of parenting.  Toddlers are also pretty demanding, illogical, and destructive little people.  My toddlers could have best have been described as “forces of nature”.  Of course, a force of nature belongs outside – for example, in the garden.  Toddlers aren’t exactly helpful but they often want to help.  Here are my favorite ways to harness that desire to “help” so that you can get some actual work done in the garden.

• One of the beauties of having a toddler is that they generally take a decent length, reliable nap every day (I am so sorry if your toddler doesn’t do this.   You deserve an award simply for staying sane.)  The only downside of the long afternoon nap is that it almost always occurs during the hottest part of the day.  But I think a good sweat is therapeutic so go forth and plant while the little beastie sleeps, gathering energy for renewed afternoon destruction.  Just be prepared for some pitying looks if a neighbor catches sight of you working out in the yard, face all red, old maternity T-shirt soaking with sweat.  They will be thankful to have you as a neighbor when you’re plying them with tomatoes and zucchini come summer.
• Put your kidlet in a pile of dirt or compost and have them “help” while you shovel the dirt out.  Note, you might want to make sure that your toddler is not the bug eating kind of kid before you turn your back on them in the compost.  Then again – grubs are packed with protein!
• Let your little ball of energy run along side you while you drive a wheelbarrow full of dirt or compost and then when it is unloaded, toss them in the wheel barrow and let them ride back.
• If you like to label your plants with markers stuck in the soil, I can pretty much guarantee that at some point during the growing season you will turn your back and find all of your carefully placed plant makers “helpfully” reorganized around the garden.  Despite this inevitability I still like to use the markers.  BUT I also make a map of the garden showing what I planted and where.  In our particular garden of raised beds I did this by measuring each bed, putting the measurements on the computer and printing out a grid map of each bed (I used six inch spacing).  Then as I plant I use a sharpie and colored pencils to label and shade in what I have planted.  That way, toddler child can rearrange the markers and I can still figure out if it was the Thessaloniki or the Al Kuffa tomato that performed the best.  To keep the pesky toddler occupied while I plant and make my maps I have printed out a second map of the garden and given the little one some crayons to color in their own version of the garden.
• Toddlers love to make a real contribution by planting seeds.  Toddlers are particularly proficient at two types of seeds:  1) Tiny seeds that are “broadcast” over an area such as carrots or lettuce and  2)  Big seeds such as squash and beans that are easy for little fingers to hold.
• Once the seeds have grown into fruiting plants, toddlers are actually quite efficient little pickers.  Toddlers were actually paid to pick berries alongside their parents and siblings not too many decades ago.  Now I am not suggesting that put your toddler into the fields for hours a day, but I highly recommend squash, beans, tomatoes, grapes, and berries (thornless!) for easy toddler picking.  Additionally, some of the most fun my kids have had out in the dirt has been finding the buried “treasure” of potatoes and carrots.  (Just give them a dull, rounded shovel or make them dig with their hands so they don’t slice and dice the vegetables).

Although I sometimes fantasize about moving out of Southern California to place with proper seasons and three bedroom homes I am grateful that I spent the years with very young children here; it is so easy to simply open the back door, get outside, and get dirty.

I will let you in on a little secret:  I get bored “playing” with my children.  There are honestly only so many times I can recite “This Little Piggie”, so many zombies I can fight (apparently we have a very serious infestation at our house), and so many rocket ships I can build out of couch cushions before my mind wanders to other pursuits.

When Thomas was born I had basically no experience with newborns.  My number one goal as a new mother was to keep the baby happy.  Happiness for newborn Thomas revolved around nursing and being in some sort of motion (in my arms while I bounced on a yoga ball, strapped to me on a walk, or on a stroller ride).  Occasionally he would consent to be put down on an annoyingly colorful playmat where he would swat at various stuffed animals hanging above him.  It was during one of these “playtimes” that I realized that I was so bored and sleep deprived I was falling into microsleeps every time I put Thomas down to play.  Something had to change.  I still put Thomas down to play, but I instead of simply waiting for him to get bored with playtime I stopped it when I became bored and popped him in the sling while I pruned roses or set him in his bouncy chair on the kitchen table and explained what I was cooking to him (flagrantly ignoring the dire warnings to NEVER PLACE BABY ON AN ELEVATED SURFACE).  I quickly found that, quite simply, I am happiest with my children when we are doing something “real” together:  cooking, gardening, organizing, fixing, baking.  And that is how I’ve been able to grow food while also growing a little person from a newborn into a toddler.  Some specific ideas for incorporating your baby into the garden:

• Despite what many an older woman will tell you, there is no such age as too young to go outside.  Theo was born just before the busy spring season of taking out winter crops and summer planting.  Theo wasn’t a particularly long napper I didn’t like being far from him so we simply parked his stroller bassinet in the backyard under the shade of a tree and let him snooze.  He actually seemed to sleep better outside.  When Thomas was a fussy baby (so, so very fussy) at our wits end we would sometimes take him out for a late night stroll and if we were lucky he would calm down as soon as the cool air hit his face.  And I found that I had more patience as a mother, felt like myself, when I got out into the sunshine.  Remember that your baby can sleep, spend time awake, and certainly even eat outdoors.  I found that I was actually quite comfortable sitting on a blanket outside, cross-legged, nursing a baby.  There is absolutely no reason not to take your baby, even your newborn, out into the garden.
• Invest in a sling or baby carrier that you and your baby both feel happy with.  Be aware that it may take trying a few different types to find what works for both of you.  My two favorites have been the Ergo and a simple pouch sling, such as a Hotsling.  I baked Thanksgiving pies with a five day old Thomas snoring away in the sling, and a week after Theo was born I wore him in the sling out in the garden and planted tomato seedlings.
• Remember that the internet is your friend.  Can’t get out of the house to buy seeds, seedlings, or tools?  Have a baby who hates the car and can’t fathom how to get a flat of seedlings back to your house in a stroller?  You can find it all online – often for very competitive prices.  And if you need compost or dirt you can order up to a truckload delivered to you.
• As your baby gets older take them out of the bassinet, the stroller, or the sling and let them experience the garden.  Around two months old Theo loved to lie on a blanket under our big elm tree and stare up at the shape of the branches against the sky.  I remember how both boys went though a period where they would giggle every time the wind blew over them, delighted with the feeling.  One of my favorite memories of gardening with a baby came as I was planting an orange tree.  Six month old Thomas was sitting on a blanket next to me, smiling, as I explained the process to him.  About 30 seconds after I took the picture above I heard the sound of gagging and found Thomas on his belly trying to eat a fistful of leaves and dirt, triumphant in his quest for a bit of forward motion.  I just laughed and hoped that the incident taught him that leaves are not particularly tasty.
• Let your older (six months or older) baby sample the garden produce.  Show them which plants are edible and which are not (no eating tomato leaves unless you want a hallucinating baby) and then let them try them out.  Give them a bit of herbs to smell and to chew on.  Break open a ripe peach or orange for them and watch them suck out the juice.  You want them to get the idea that garden = delicious.
• Allow your mobile baby to explore the garden, supervised of course.  I didn’t really see why a walking baby would be allowed to walk through the garden, but a crawling baby wouldn’t be allowed to crawl or cruise through the dirt.  Sure they will get filthy.  Trust me, they will get plenty dirty – perhaps even moreso – once they can walk, run, and jump though the garden.  Might as well make your peace with the dirt at a young age.

While I firmly believe that most people can find the time and ability to garden with an infant I do think that it is important to remember to cut yourself some slack.  You might be one of the unlucky ones whose baby struggles against a sling or sobs when the wind hits their face.  Or perhaps you are just too tired to do anything more than survive.  It will get better.  In the history of human kind no one ever stayed an infant forever.  In a few short months your baby will grow into a toddler with an entirely new set of joys:  “No Mama, you don’t need to hold me.  I will actually be quite content poking the dirt and searching for bugs for awhile.”  And challenges:  “What are these silly sticks with words next to each plant?  I’ll bet Mama would appreciate it if I yanked them all out and spread them about the garden willy-nilly!”

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This post is inspired by Karen (everyone say “Hi Karen!”) who commented on the previous post that she wanted to start gardening and composting but wasn’t sure how to go about getting started.  There are really only two things that you need to decide when you decide to start growing your own fruits and vegetables, what to plant and where to plant it.

What to Plant

When I first began gardening I made my decisions on what to plant based solely upon what I liked to eat and what produce I thought was especially better fresh picked as opposed to purchased.  For those first years that meant a few tomatoes, bell peppers, and some herbs.  And for the most part, I think that planting what you love to eat is the first and foremost rule to follow.  You will naturally take the best care of , become invested in, the foods that you love.  As you garden you will also find what fruits and vegetables are worth the effort for you and what grows best in the tiny microclimate of  your own yard.  I found that figuring out what works for me was best accomplished through experimentation and trial and error.  I found that gardening books were fairly useless for figuring out what I wanted to grow.  I quickly grew annoyed by the gardening books that touted broccoli as a great beginner crop.  Well, I got about a 20% germination rate with my broccoli and those that did grow were either eaten by rats or covered by a fuzzy blanket of aphids.  And most gardening books are written for places that truly have four seasons, not a season of wet and cool and a season of dry and hot.  My first season I made the mistake of following the advice of many a book to plant potatoes in the spring and ended up with potatoes that quite literally baked in the ground during a 100 degree plus May heat wave.  So now I grow what I love and what works for me when it works for me.  I certainly don’t suffer for a lack of diversity of crops (there are 16 different fruits and about three dozen different varieties of vegetables growing in our backyard at this very moment) but I do buy my broccoli at the farmer’s market.  And perhaps someday when the children are grown I will conquer broccoli, but for now I am quite content with our arrangement.

There are a few plants that are particularly kid friendly.  I can’t recommend berries highly enough – the boys literally squeal with pleasure at every ripe berry.  Although I am fastidious about weighing all the produce we produce and entering it in a spreadsheet I couldn’t tell you how many pounds of strawberries and blackberries have come out of our yard, the boys eat them as fast the plants grow them.  Berries are also perennial and require fabulously little maintenance.  Tomatoes and peas are great for being prolific producers so that kids can help with the picking.  Potatoes are great fun for kids to plant and to  dig up – buried carbohydrate treasures.  As Erin mentioned in the comments, beans and squash, with their large seeds, are great to plant with kids.  Even Theo, at just over two, can put a bean in a hole with a grin of satisfaction.  (He also loves beans so much that he eats one – dried – for every one he plants, but there are certainly worse things a two year old can put in his mouth.)

Where to Plant

You basically have three choices:  containers, raised beds, and/or in the ground.  I am not the person you want to trust with advice when it comes to container gardening.  Nearly everything I have ever planted in a container has died.  I’ve finally got a nice mature sage growing in a beautiful copper pot my sister gave me – hopefully I can keep it alive through the summer.  If you have the space, I highly recommend raised beds – for the protection they offer from kids (and dogs), your ability to have more control over the soil, and the ease of gardening.  If you are not handy there are many hardware kits that are sold to join together pre-cut boards or there are kits (made of plastic or wood) that include the boards and the hardware.  If money is an issue I see postings for free wood on craigslist every week.   We filled our raised beds with a 50/50 mix of plain old San Gabriel Valley dirt and compost.  Although nearly every gardening book you read will recommend that you test your soil for contaminants and optimum fertility I don’t know any home growers who have actually ever tested their soil.  Our dirt came from two sources:  (1) our backyard (when we removed the existing “landscape” and leveled the ground prior to our jungle to farm transformation we ended up with a rather large pile of dirt) and (2) free from craigslist.  Craigslist is a truly wonderful thing.  There are many people who are re-landscaping, putting on an addition or a garage, or digging out a pool that have many, many cubic yards of dirt free for the taking.  If the dirt looks bad, full of rocks, nails, pieces of concrete, then don’t take it.  I also wouldn’t take dirt from anywhere I suspected of being highly contaminated, say a golf course.  But there is plentiful, free dirt available, in fact, just last week I saw an ad on craigslist offering to pay $20 for every load of dirt that was taken away from someone’s yard.  For compost, you can make it or you can buy it.  If you are buying a small amount the bags from the home improvement store are fine.  One tip, if buying several bags purchase several different brands and mix them for a more varied blend of nutrients.  There are also many landscape and stone companies that will deliver compost relatively cheaply if buying a large amount.  Making compost is, to my mind, another one of those gardening tasks that needn’t be as complicated as some books make it out to be.  Jeff is the compost master on our farm and described his compost philosophy in a comment on the last post:

Compost: I love compost, it is a good excuse for a grown man to dig in the dirt and look at bugs.  The boys love searching for worms and grubs. One of Theo’s clearest expressions is “icky bug”.  I built mine [compost pile] out of chicken wire, and metal posts. I pile everything on one side of the bin, then when it is about two feet high, I turn it over to the other side. I repeat this every week. I have one of the hard sided prebuilt composters (from my parents’) and I fitted an old metal screen over the top. The openings in the screen are about 1 cm. I shovel the compost on top and shake it, until all the small stuff falls through, everything that is too big gets thrown back into the pile. The result is great compost.

I don’t mean to oversimplify, but I do want to encourage you to know that you can do it.  You can, little by little, (Jeff just chimed in twenty times more slowly if you have kids) grow your own food.   And growing your own food isn’t just a hobby – it really does matter.  Every tomato you plant is one less piece of ground that was plowed by a fossil fueled machine.   Every strawberry you pick from your own yard is one less strawberry that was harvested by an exploited farm worker.  Every orange that you grow is one less orange that was trucked to the grocery store.  I remember the overwhelming feeling of staring at our overgrown yard with the dream of a mini-farm and wondering if I was inspired or insane.  I think I was probably a little bit of both.

The questions I am most often asked about our garden are not, how to make compost, or protect against pests, or what the best variety of tomatoes are, but “How do you do it?”…”How do you garden with two young children…and a job…and school…and life?”  And my answer is simply, “That it is important to me, so I make it happen”.   But that answer doesn’t really help inspire new gardeners nor does it help those who want to garden but truly feel perplexed as to how to possibility fit growing food into their busy lives.  I think that those with young children feel particularly challenged; it can be difficult to see how a clingy baby, a toddler hell bent on destruction, or a whiny preschooler (or all of the above) could be compatible with rows of neatly labeled plants and sharp garden tools.  But I am here to tell you that gardening and children are more than compatible; it can actually be amazing to combine growing food with growing a family.  Today will begin an ongoing series of blog posts about how to combine growing food with growing a family in the context of our busy modern lives.  I  still have a great deal to learn about growing food (as evidenced by our large peach tree dropping every single one of its peaches prematurely this year), but I think that I have manged to do a damn fine job of managing a house, children, work, school, and a garden…and, for the most part, I have had fun doing it.  I hope that you will too.

I you have read this far, I am going assume that you have at least an inkling of interest in growing your own food.  Perhaps you already do, but are wondering how to grow more.  Maybe you don’t but would like to start.  To start off the discussion I give you my top three food growing directives:

No Excuses

Do not allow lack of space and/or time, your job, or your children to be an excuse standing in your way.  No yard?  No patio?  No community garden?  Everyone has at least a windowsill where they can grow a few herbs and greens.  No time?  Accept that you are probably never going to  have days or weeks of interrupted time away from work or family to set up your garden.  So start now.  Start small if you like.  One tomato plant can easily give you ten pounds of tomatoes.  One plant can be the beginning of something big.  Long before we turned our backyard into a mini-farm I began gardening in 2007 with two scrawny tomato plants and a couple of bell pepper seedlings.  I had absolutely no idea how to start vegetables from seed – I don’t think the thought of doing so had even occurred to me.  I had no idea how to preserve food nor could I have possibly imagined growing enough food in our yard that I would need to.  Just start growing food and the rest will follow.  I write this post on May 9th.  You still have time to go out and plant a tomato, a pepper, or a fruit tree this year.  And if you live in a warm climate like Southern California then there is something you can plant all year round.  The growing season here is 365 days year!  No excuses.

Accept Failure

Sometimes your plants will die.  No matter how long you have been gardening you will have some sort of failure every year.  A old girlfriend of my sister owns an organic orchard in central California.  She reported that she lost around 75% of all the peaches on her trees every year due to disease and pests.  And she is successful farmer turning a profit!  There is a huge amount of loss in food production; it is simply hidden from you when you see a pile of fruit in the grocery store.  As a home food producer you will see failure but that does not mean that you are a failure.  And that failure is tempered by the awesome successes you will experience; the taste of greens harvested five minute ago, the satisfaction of harvesting pounds of tomatoes from a plant you grew from a tiny speck of a seed, the joy of watching your children snack on fresh fruits and vegetables right out of their own backyard.  Failure is part of life and if you are gardening with your children the lessons of what it really takes to grow food and of failure and perseverance are valuable ones indeed.

Tend Your Space in the Time That Works Best for You

There is absolutely no rule that gardening has to be done at any particular time of day or day of the week.  While you might imagine serious gardeners spending hours toiling on weekends that is not the way things have to be.  If you are a morning person, try going out and pulling weeds/transplanting a couple of seedlings/hand watering a container or a bed or plants/harvesting some veggies for a few minutes before going to work.  Do you work from home or close to home?  Try taking a “garden break” instead of a “lunch break” every so often.  Do you enjoy playing with the kids or eating outside after work?  Play, eat, and garden until it’s time to go inside.  Use daytime hours at home for the gardening tasks that must actually be accomplished out the garden.  You can use your days away from the garden or your evenings to start seeds indoors or plan your garden.  You can order seeds at midnight.  If you can spare a few minutes at the computer, then healthy, organic seeds and seedlings can arrive at your doorstep in just a few days.  And if you have children, please do not limit gardening to nap time or when they are away at school.  In doing so you are limiting yourself.  Every child I have ever met loves to be outside.  In future posts I will talk about how to enjoy gardening with kids.

I hope that this is just the start of the discussion.  I  have a number of topics in mind, but I would love to hear suggestions about what you want to hear from me.  And please do not feel limited if you don’t have children, we all have challenges – from taking care of elderly parents to busy jobs and I think that many of the solutions that we discuss can be helpful to everyone.  Are there any gardening (or general life) directives you have found to be useful in your own life that you want to share?